This time of year, many of us are trying our best to be thoughtful and giving to both to our own families and those in need. This is a wonderful thing!
In the article that follows, our colleague Donna Cournoyer shares some ideas about what parents can give to college-bound children, and what college-preparing high schoolers might consider for their parents.
Hint: It’s not what you think.
Your first thoughts might be: 529 contributions, cash, a new laptop, a university sweatshirt, money for books, dorm supplies, part-time job earnings, and more.
While all these items are important for both college students and their parents, I have something other things in mind—and they are free.
Time
The gift of time is a wonderful thing, always.
For college planning families, making the time to sit down together and focus on your college plan during this busy holiday season is truly valuable.
It is usually a time when both parents and students have a bit of time off from their regular work and school commitments and the world slows down to celebrate. (After the hectic lead up to your holiday schedule!)
Midway through the school year is also a good point for students to refocus on what is coming up in spring; SAT/ACT, college visits, creating the college list, and much more.
Making the effort to set a time for a detailed discussion as a family, rather than hope to be able to fit some time in this season, can be very beneficial to preparing for upcoming college planning items to be sure you stay focused and on track, and less stressed.
Consideration
When you are making your way through the college planning process, be sure to consider other points of view.
Students: Your parents are doing their best to provide a college education for you that comes at a cost. It is not easy to save and navigate both financing and finding the right fit for you at a college where you will connect and flourish. While it is often stressful to plan for college, try to be considerate of the commitment your parents are making to set you up for success.
Parents: Your students are likely as stressed as you, but in a different way. We all know the pressures related to what peers are doing; to getting good grades; to getting accepted; and generally to performing well in high school.
Your students will have ups and downs and may need a bit of a break or extra consideration at times as they try to do their best.
Perfection is not usually necessary to be a good candidate for college admission. Being considerate of your approach as you work together will go a long way toward facilitating this long-term process and having it unfold as smoothly as possible.
Dedication
Showing up for the process is key. Doing your best amid the emotional and complex process of college planning helps you both in the long run.
Parents and Students should commit to items that need to be taken care of, including:
- researching colleges
- estimating costs
- finding a college with the right “fit”
- scheduling open-house visits
- contacting admissions reps
- putting in study time
- attending college fairs
- getting involved
- working on college essays
- beginning and completing college applications
- considering majors
- thinking about post-college study or work
This is just a sample of what goes into college planning, and it can seem like a lot!
Start early and break down your planning into small, digestible steps and dedicate yourself to keeping up with the plan, within reason. Again, this will go a long way in the long run.
Patience
Finally, patience. We all know by now that this college process is one of the biggest investments and life events for families.
The more you find ways to stay calm, and be consistent in your preparation and approach, the more you can enjoy the excitement of this hard-earned and well-deserved milestone!
High school years are packed with more activities and events than ever before. Combine that with the fast-paced, news-bombarded world we live in, and it is important to take a breath. Literally.
Do whatever works best for you to gain peace of mind and remain calm – and keep it going.
Students and parents: You are both doing your best. Try to keep that in mind when unexpected things come up or when pressure builds. It is inevitable, but not unsurmountable.
Keeping a peaceful approach may seem optimistic, but if you try your best to keep your patience with each other and remember not to aim for perfection, or sweat the small stuff, you do have a perfect chance of making it to and through your college years!